You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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