3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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