So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
