the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
