so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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