Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
