If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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