i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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