my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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