Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize