Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
