You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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