Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
