mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is my gift to your gina
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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