You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize