I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
