I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
