Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
