Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
