i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
