drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you didnt know i had herpes?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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