Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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