He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
