I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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