Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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