He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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