I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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