I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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