Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
