Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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