they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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