idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
