I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
