it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got inside last night via doggy door
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
