im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
