Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
