nut hugger
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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