Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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