woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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