i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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