Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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