its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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