He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am one with the molecules
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
