Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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