I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
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So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize