i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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