I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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