I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
