HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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