I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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