Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
