When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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