a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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