The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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