Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize