When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You may now shotgun with the bride
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
