he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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