White coat. Heels.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
